


The Soldier Who Loved Me

by Allanahloo95



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Captain America - Freeform, F/M, Iron Man - Freeform, Love, ME - Freeform, Memories, SOLDIER - Freeform, Thor - Freeform, WWII, Who, loved, the, winter soldier - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-03-08 10:05:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18892435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allanahloo95/pseuds/Allanahloo95
Summary: What if I told you Steve Rogers wasn't the only one who received the super soldier serum? What if  Dr. Erksine wanted to do another test before giving it  to little Steve Rogers? Well that's what happened to Molly Harrington, childhood friend to both Steve and Bucky.Both Steve and Molly were revived from the ice and handle the loss of their past differently. What happens when their best friend, Bucky returns as the Winter Soldier? Will old feelings arise or is it too late for Molly and Sargent Barnes?FIND OUT*I do not own any Marvel characters or characters related with the MCU*





	1. Part One: Chapter I

       Sometimes I wish no one had revived me. I realize wanting death is morbid but I died nobly and it was the way I wanted to go. Steve says that the world wasn't finished with us yet but I couldn't see what more the world wanted from me, after they had taken everything.

"Are you coming Molly?" My attention is taken away from my reading material and set on Steve Rogers, my best friend.

"Why would I come Steve?" I asked with spite. "I didn't go on the last mission and I'm not going on this one," I responded with a sigh. Steve moved away from my door and sat on my bed to face me.

"Molly, I know this has been a difficult transition for you but you don't have to go through this alone. I'm right here, the only person who can understand what you're going through and how much you miss the past-" I stopped him by slamming my book shut.

"I don't miss the past," I hissed. "I despise it. I don't want think about the 1940's ever again, I don't want to remember the hell I went through during that time. I don't want the memories I have of the past... it hurts too much Steve." Tears were threatening to slip down my face but with a clenched jaw I refused to let them fall. Steve put a hand on my knee and offered a sympathetic smile.  
"You mean Bucky," he concluded.

"It hurts too much Steve to live in a world where he isn't and just the way we left things brings me so much guilt that I don't think I can keep going." It was becoming more and more difficult to keep back the tears but I was resilient. "I don't have anyone recognizing the amazing things I did, I don't have anyone that's still alive like you do," I explained, the emotion continuing to rise.

"You have me, you're best friend. I have you and I know it won't be the same without Buck but that's why we grieve and I'm sorry that I grieved without you but I had to because of Loki but now you can grieve while counting on me. Okay?" A tear from each eye escaped my eyelid and I quickly swat it away.

"Okay," I concluded with a big sigh. "I'll be fine, go have fun on your mission and I'll see you when you get back."

Steve lingered a moment, making sure that I really would be alright before giving my knee a quick squeeze, standing up and leaving our apartment.

      Steve was right about one thing, I needed to grieve. So after a few minutes of talking myself into it, I grabbed a coat and walked outside. I didn't know where I was going but I needed to get out of the apartment and do something. Something that I wouldn't do in the 40's, something crazy but not destructive.

    In my aimless walking I noticed a salon that was still open. I hadn't been in a salon since before the second world war and it felt right. Looking both ways I went across the street and walked in. The inside of the salon almost looked similar to the outside, filled with brick but the inside brick was painted white and there pictures hung all around next to the mirrors.

"Hey, can I help you?" the girl at the counter asked. I directed my attention towards her and walked up. She had an almond skin tone, big dark eyes and full lips that were painted lavender. Her hair was braided and piled on top of her head, she was beautiful.

"Yeah, um I need a change. I don't know what but I want something different," I pulled my long mousy brown hair forward and let it rest right under my breasts.

"We can help you with that, what kind of change?" she asked. "Do you want something more wild or more subtle?" I wracked my brain for what those two extremes would look like today but I was at a loss.

"Nothing too crazy but I don't want to be reminded of the old me - if that makes sense," I answered. The girl smiled like a mad scientist and nodded.   
"I know just what to do with you and who can help, follow me," she gestured me to go around the counter and brought me to a black leather covered chair.

"Carmen is going to do your hair, she'll know how to help you."

"Thank you, what's your name?" I asked.

"Imrie," she responded before going back to her counter.

A short time later Carmen came out, her skin was caramel, her eyes almond shaped and light green. Her hair was short on one side and long on the other.

"Hey I'm Carmen, what's your name doll face?" I didn't expect that word  _doll_  to affect me the way it did. I tried to smile in order to hide the hurt I felt, she didn't have any idea.

"Molly," I whispered.

"Molly, that's a cute name and let me guess, bad break up?" her spanish accent came forward but I nodded.

"You could say something like that," I continued, still a soft whisper. "We broke up and then he died in a train accident." Carmen's mouth dropped and she rubbed my shoulder.

"Alright honey I understand, I'll help you forget, just relax for me, okay?" I pushed my lips together and nodded.

It was so many years ago but to me it had only been a few months. My heart still ached for him and I wondered if I would ever stop missing that stupid soldier. A few hours later, Carmen handed me a mirror and my eyes grew at the difference.

Instead of long hair, it was cut to my shoulders and the dull dust color was replaced with dark chocolate roots and cream colored ends. I didn't realize anything like that could be accomplished. The darkness of the roots brought out the light green in my eyes while the blonde complimented my warm ivory skin tone.

"Thank you, this is exactly what I needed," I told her.

"I have a knack for knowing what people need in regards to hair," Carmen shrugged. I smiled, got up from the chair and thanked her again before going back to Imrie to pay.

"Carmen's giving you half off because of the dead ex and everything." I stole a glance at Carmen giving the most thankful look I could before pulling out my wallet.

When I got back to the apartment Steve was already inside, listening to an old record in his chair.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you leave the apartment, but you've got to text me or write me a note when you're going to be gone for a long time." I sat my stuff down on the counter and walked towards his chair.

"Steve I'm very much an adult, plus I know you might forget but I'm a super soldier just like you. I went out to get my hair done, do you like it?" I asked, turning on a light.

"Wow, it's different but I think it suits you," he responded softly. "What made you want do it?" he asked.

"I couldn't look in the mirror without seeing him Steve, I'm trying to move on and live life but it's so hard and this - this is just one thing to make it a little easier." Steve stared at me intensely but nodded.

"I understand."

"How was the mission?" I asked, changing topics. Steve raised his eyebrows and looked away but nodded.

"It was a success but found out that Fury had an ulterior motive and neglected to tell me about it," Steve sighed, obviously disappointed.

"I don't get it Steve, if you think that they're lying to you, why would you still want to be apart of that?"

"Because I want to serve my country, that's what I was made for - that's what you were made for." I rolled my eyes.

"No, I was made to spy on the Germans without needing help or backup. I did my job, your job was to end war or at least turn the tide of it, which you did, you and your howling commandos did. You're done Steve it's time to retire," I argued kneeling in front of Steve, putting my hands on his knees. Steve looked down at me with a somber expression then looked away.

"We have different ways of dealing with our grief. Yours is to forget, mine is to continue to fight until everyone is safe." I saw through him - just like when we were kids.

"No Steve, you're avoiding your grief but distracting yourself with violence and missions like the good ol' days but it's like you said, we're each dealing with it on our own and that's fine." I paused before standing up.

"I'm going to bed, I'll see you tomorrow."

_"Please don't go through with it," Bucky asked. I shook my head at him and looked away at the limping soldiers._

_"Bucky, I have a chance to really help the war. I have to take this chance, I thought you'd be happy for me." I didn't want to look at him so I straightened out my nurse uniform._

_"Why in the hell would I be happy for you putting yourself in danger?" he snapped. My eyes darted to his._

_"James. I am_ proud _of you, for joining the army and that's dangerous - more dangerous than what I'll be doing so why can't you just -" the scene changed to bombs and fire taking over everything, I was running through a dark forest, the only light being the moon and the glow of the bombs going off._ _  
_ _"Molly!" He was calling out to me but I couldn't see him. He was screaming but I couldn't find him. I called out to him so in an effort to find him. I was now on a train -_ the _train, I could see Steve trying to reach for Bucky and barely missing. I scream with Steve, I try to jump off the train but my feet are glued. I continue to scream like it would save his life but knowing that it wouldn't._

"Molly, Molly everything is fine," Steve held my face in his hands, trying to get me to calm down. My heart was racing, my eyes darted to every corner of the room until I remembered where I was and when I was. The reality of losing Bucky hit me all over again, and there wouldn't be any stop to it. I let my anguish express itself with sobs and tears, Steve pulled me closer until I was in his lap.

"Nothing is fine, he's gone and he's never coming back," I sobbed. My chest squeezed with pain to the point where I couldn't breathe.

"I know he's not and I miss him too," Steve whispered.

"Will you stay with me Steve?" I sputtered.

Without missing a beat, "Of course I'll stay, let's get you laid down," Steve moved us to laying position but still held me in his arms. I tried to pretend that it was Bucky but it made me feel worse.

"You know he loved you? Even after your procedure. When I saved him he asked me if I'd seen you, he told me that he shouldn't have let you go over something so stupid. After the war he was going to find you and beg you to forgive him," Steve's soft voice lulled me to sleep and eased the heartache for at least a small moment so we could sleep but there would always be nightmares and dreams of Bucky, my soldier.

 

 

**Quick Author's note. So the way I'm going to be setting this up is that each "part" is a Captain America movie so part I is Winter Soldier, Part II Civil War and Part III is Infinity War, thought it'd be easier to do that than have different books set up. So each "chapter" will have Part I,II or III with the real chapter at the beginning. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this first chapter!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Part I - Chapter 2**

 

It had been another day where I did nothing but read and mope. Sometime in the afternoon, I heard Steve come home and called out a greeting to which he ignored me and immediately turned on his phonograph. Thinking I had done something, I closed the book and walked out into the living room and instead of seeing a blonde super soldier, I saw Nick Fury sitting in Steve's chair, looking pretty beat up.

My mouth dropped to speak but he held up a finger to silence me and took out his phone and began typing. I waited in anticipation and confusion before he showed me the screen.

'Don't say anything, I'm being followed, waiting for Steve'. I still didn't trust modern technology so I grabbed a nearby pen and paper and jotted down my response.

'What's going on?' Fury shook his head when I flashed him the notepad. I rolled my eyes and sat in my respective seat and stared at Fury, taking in every wrinkle, every fiber of his body I could until Steve came in calling my name.

"I'm in the living room Steve, with a friend of yours," I announced. Steve stopped at the entrance, stared at Fury then at me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked defensively. I turned my attention to Fury, hoping to get a plausible answer out of him.

"Wife kicked me out," he responded while typing out on his phone. I stood up and started to walk around the window, surveying the area so far so good.

"Just my friends," Fury sighed, getting up off the couch.

"Is that what we are?" Steve asked, still unconvinced. I took a chance to peek through the window and in the distance I saw something - more like a shadow.

"Steve-" a loud bang came crashing through the window and a sharp sting went through my arm. Gunshots, a couple of them rang through the room and Fury fell to the floor. Steve grabbed Fury and hauled him in the next room, I followed holding my arm tight.

"Don't... trust... anyone," Fury coughed. Another moment later a few bangs came from the door and in stormed our neighbor, Kate, wearing her pink pjs holding a gun..

"Captain Rogers? Molly?" Steve and I looked at eachother, dumbfounded.

"I'm agent 13, I've been assigned to protect you," she announced, rounding the corner to the kitchen.

"On whose order?" Steve demanded.

"His," she nodded towards limp Fury.

Kate pulled out a walkie talkie and started talking into, I couldn't concentrate, it'd been a long time since I'd been shot at and it was taking a toll.

"Tell him I'm in pursuit," Steve muttered before jumping out of our window.

"Show off," I grunted.

"Are you alright?" Kate asked, temporarily changing her attentions. I nodded shortly.

"Yeah, I think whoever shot a Fury nicked me as well," I snapped, taking my hand away from my arm. I was wrong, the bullet had in fact gone through my arm. "Damn it," I cursed.

"We'll get you two taken care of," she answered.

It hadn't been long before EMT's came to take Fury away. They had offered to take me as well but I figured I could take myself or have Steve take me. By the time he got back he rushed me to his bike and flew into the night. Upon arriving Steve left me to check on Fury while I walked into the ER and explained what had happened, there was no waiting because of the amount of blood I was losing.

Steve came to find me and told me about Fury, he seemed disappointed.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I know he probably helped you when you first thawed and everything. Are you going to be okay?" I asked, rubbing his shoulder. Steve nodded and looked up at me with a sympathetic kicked puppy expression.

"Yeah, I just wish I knew what was going on."

"Me too, he just showed up and we waited for you to get back - he must really trust you Steve," I pointed out.

"If he did, why would he keep all these secrets?" I took in a breath and shrugged.

"I have no idea but he told you not to trust anyone... does that include me?" I asked. Steve never broke eye contact and shook his head.

"No, Molly you're my best friend I would trust you with my life," I smiled.

A few days later Steve told me about the device that Fury had given him, all out in public of course. Now that we knew that our apartment was bugged neither of us felt safe. When we went back to the hospital Steve told me about the place he put it the device but it was gone. Natasha showed up behind us chewing gum. Steve grabbed her arm and pushed her into an empty room, I stood out to keep watch.

"I only act like I know everything Rogers," Natasha spat.

"Keep it down," I snapped back at them. Doctor's passed me and I watched them, one thing I had to give myself credit for were my vibes.

I always had this talent about knowing people's intentions - even before I was super solidered. I never truly noticed that my little quirk was actually a talent until after I was turned into a super spy for the U.S government. After that I could just look at someone and  _know_  if they were bad or if they were good. At first that's all I was used for before I convinced Lieutenant Carter that I could do more.

"I know who killed Fury," my ears perked up. My body turned away from the door and I got into Steve's corner and stared down at Natasha. I hadn't tapped into my talent in a long time so it took a little longer than usual and Natasha was complicated but underneath everything she was okay.

"Steve, hear her out she isn't apart of what hurt Fury." Steve loosened his grip and I went to close the door while looking out the blinds.

"Most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists, the ones that do call him the Winter Soldier. He's credited with over 2,000 assassinations, in the last 50 years."

"So he's a ghost story," Steve concluded.

"Five years ago I was escorting a nuclear engineer out of Iran. Somebody shot out my tires near Odessa, we lost control and went straight over a cliff I pulled us out. But the Winter soldier was there, I was covering my engineer so he shot him straight through me. Soviet Slug, no rifling, bye bye bikinis." Steve shot a look at me and I glanced down at my arm.

"Whoever shot at Fury, shot me in the arm to get to him," I explained. Natasha gave Steve a knowing expression with a raised eyebrow.

"Well let's find out what the ghost wants."

**Brooklyn**

**1943**

****It didn't take long for me to find the alley that Steve had gotten himself in yet another fight. Leave it to Steve to pick a fight with the biggest guy around but then again almost anyone could be considered the "biggest guy" in Steve's short point of view. Walking towards him to help him out, a hand pulled me back. My sight snapped to see James's face, I relaxed under his touch and watched him march towards to save poor Steve.

"Hey!" Bucky barked, pulling at the bully. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size." The guy swung at Bucky, missed and got shoved. I moved out of his way as I went to help Steve, who shrugged off my help.

"I had him on the ropes," Steve grumbled before eyeing Bucky up and down in his uniform. The dreaded day had finally come for Bucky to leave. "Did you get your orders?" he asked somberly. Bucky sighed and replied, my heart broke silently. The stupid soldier had no idea that I had been in love with him for the past three years.

Steve, Bucky and I had all been friends since we were kids. At first the boys tried to exclude me from their adventures until I proved to them that I could hold my own in a fight. After that we all became thick as thieves, "till the end of the line" was what we all would say to each other but neither of them knew that I would go even further for the both of them if I could.

"Hey, earth to Molly, you there?" Bucky asked, waving a paper in my face. Blinking a few times, I folded my arms together.

"Yeah, what do you want?" I asked.

"We're all going out tonight together just the three of us - except my date Connie is coming with us." I rolled my eyes, of course he had a date.

"Don't give me that judgmental eye roll. It's my last night before I'm surrounded by an endless see of fellas."

"Whatever, I don't care, where are we going?" I asked, cooling off. Bucky showed me the paper that advertised the Stark Expo.

"The future," he responded.

Even I had to admit that Connie was cute, with her pointed chin, big brown eyes and dimples. I couldn't compete with that but it almost didn't matter, Steve and I had fun with each other. After a failed levitating car show, I noticed Steve take off towards another enlisting booth.

"Hey Steve what do you we -" he saw the same thing I did.

"I'll go talk to him," I offered and starting walking towards him.

"No, it should be me, I'm the one leaving," he paused and glanced at Connie. "Hey doll I'll be right back," she grinned at him and waited while Bucky and I both went after Steve.

"You really gonna do this again?" Bucky asked skeptically.

"Well it's fair, I'm gonna try my luck," Steve shrugged.

"As who, Steve from Ohio? They'll catch you or worse they'll actually take you," Bucky snapped. I had no logical explanation for what happened but in that moment, I lost all sense of coolness and reason. I just for once what Bucky to be wrong.

"Bucky there are men laying down their lives, I got no right to do any less than them." Bucky went to rebuttal but I stopped him.

"Steve's got a point Bucky." Both boys stopped and stared at me. "Yeah, hi my name is Molly and I've got an opinion. If I could, I would go to war as well but no in hell are they gonna take a woman so Steve if you want to try again, I'll go with you and I'll just apply for the heck of it."

"Molly - you're crazy!"

"Crazy? Sure Buck I might be crazy but at least I'm not stupid. Steve has every right to try as you do and so do I. I'm an American citizen, I love my country and I love you but you're too stuck up in your own little protective world to see that but I'm not," I spat. I hadn't seen the boys drop their jaw faster than when I first entered a group fight when we were teenagers.

Hot tears threatened to fall but I forced them back, turned my back against the two of them and headed into the enlistment office. There were some men already half naked inside, who when the saw me, tensed and tried to hide their body - except one, macho man type fella. This guy stood up and walked over to me with a cocky sly grin on his face.

"Lookin' for a date sweetheart?" he asked with a toothy grin.

"No, I'm going to enlist." His face dropped for a moment but when back to it's "charming" self.

"You don't want to do that sweetheart, you might break a nail," he went to touch one of my light brown curls but grabbing his finger, I twisted it until I heard a snap and he was on his knees.

"Stupid broad," he grunted.

"Pig," I snapped back before letting go of his fingers.

"Hey Molly did you - what happened?" he asked seeing the crumpled man on the floor.

"He tried to touch me so I handled it. You know Bucky spends so much time worrying about you and I do to but I think you two overlook me and what I can do but not anymore."

I marched right to the desk were a tired looking physician asked my name without looking up.

"Molly Harrington," I announced proudly. The physician's face now met mine with a surprised expression.

"How can I help you darlin' you lost?" he asked sweetly.

"No, I'm trying to sign up for the army," I answered firmly. He shook his head.

"Sorry honey, no women."

"No - don't give me that. There are hundreds of women serving in the front lines as nurses. I'm fast, I'm strong."

"Do you have any medical experience?" he challenged, lowering his glasses. A chink of my confidence was taken out.

"N-no but I'm a quick learner and I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty. Give me a chance," it was almost considered begging but not quite. The physician sighed, obviously getting impatient with me.

"Look honey what we need is women with medical experience. Go out and get some and then we'll consider." Pursing my lips together, I raised an eyebrow.

"I am not leaving until I get a chance." Turning on my heel I sat down in the nearest chair and crossed my heels.

"How can I help ya son?" he asked Steve.

Hours passed and I was the only one left in the office but my posture had remained statue and vigor even more powerful. Steve came out and told me that he was going to the army and I congratulated him, soon he left to get ready and I remained - even after the lights were going out. Anxiety crept in the back of my brain at the thought of being left in her alone but this is what I wanted. I wanted to help and I wanted be apart of something bigger than myself.

"So you are still here?" the voice was german and my body tensed. A small light went on and an elder gentleman I had seen earlier stood at the door.

"Yes. I said I wasn't gonna leave without a chance and I meant it." I attempted to come off stiff and strong but it felt like this graying man could see right through me.

"You know I saw you outside with your little friend Steven, who just got accepted into the war. Now I wonder if you two are made from similar stuff - may I?" he asked, motioning to a chair. I nodded and turned my body so that we could see each other.

"I know why Steven wants to go war but why do you?" he asked.

"You know I had a lot time to think about it while I've been sitting here. At first I thought it's because I wanted to prove to some fella that I could do it but the more I thought about it the more I came to realize that I just want to help turn the war. I want this to be over, I want be apart of something special and useful - not like these other dames who are working in a factory. I want actually _do_  something. Does that make me selfish?"

The older man, had a twinkle in his eye that had appeared and a small smile that made me feel safe and listened to.

"I will make you the same offer that I made your friend. I can offer you  _only_  a chance to be apart of something special. Would that satisfy you?" he asked with a kind smile.

"I'll do whatever it takes," I replied. He held out his hand, to which I took it.

"Good, you will report tomorrow morning to the 107th regiment and begin nursing training." A breath that I didn't know I had been holding got released, my posture broke and I folded.

"Thank you - uh I'm sorry I never got your name," I breathed. The old man stood up, handing me some papers that I'm sure I would need.

"My name is Dr. Erskine, miss Molly Harrington. I expect to be hearing great things from you."

"Molly - get up we're here," Steve nudged me. I was no longer in 1943 but 2014. The sky was dark as I opened the truck door and saw the foundations of an old base camp - Steve's old base camp.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Part I - Chapter 3**

 

Being back at an actual training base took me back but not as much as it took Steve back. We weren't in the same base camp, I think mostly because Dr. Erskine wanted to keep me and our project especially secret but also because Steve and I had to do this separately.

Natasha, Steve and I all walked around the abandoned training camp, searching for some kind of clue that would lead us to what was going on, why Fury had given Steve the weird stick device.

There wasn't any helping it, the emotions came and my chest felt heavy. I knew I wasn't going to cry but I didn't want to see anymore. I stopped walking and watched the two go ahead of me. Steve turned just enough to see that I wasn't walking anymore, he muttered something to Natasha before coming back towards me.

"I can't do it Steve, this place - it's not even my training camp but I can't do it. I'm - I'm not ready," I replied with shaky breath. Steve relaxed and put his hands on my shoulders before pulling me into a hug.

"I know, I'm sorry but you're in this now. If you go back to that apartment whoever did this to Fury will do this to you to and I'm not going to let that happen,"he sounded so absolute, just like back then. If little Brooklyn Steve could do this, then so could I. Taking a few deep breaths I moved away from Steve and nodded at him, ready to go further.

"Hey, if you two are done with your PMS session you might want to come look at this," Natasha called out. I rolled my eyes and followed Steve to a lone bunker that hadn't been bombed out like the rest but it shouldn't have been there in the first place - according to Steve.

Going inside, there were nothing but thick layers of dust and empty desks and shelves. In one room it had pictures of Peggy, Howard and Colonel Phillips.

"Who's the girl?" Natasha prodded. Steve stared long and hard before moving on. I wasn't the only one who missed someone else.

Peggy Carter had been there for my own injection of the super soldier serum along with Howard.  I knew Steve had a thing for her because Bucky had told me and because of what Steve said on the comm before we dove the plane.

"It's from a movie," Natasha started before clicking the device that Fury gave us into another beeping device. Suddenly everything turned on, including the huge computer, it even started to take form. The video camera on the top of the computer looked over and Steve before it spoke.

"Rogers, Steven born 1918." The voice belonged to Zola. The camera moved over to Natasha.

"Romanova, Natalia Alianovna. Born 1984 ." Anger bubbled under my blood, my arms crossed my body so that I wouldn't hurt anyone. The camera then peered over to me.

"Harrington Margaret born 1920." I pressed my lips into a thin line, so hard that I thought my lips would bleed. All memories of Zola and stories of what he did to Bucky filled my head.

"Molly calm down, it's just a computer," Steve assured me.

"It's some kind of recording," Natasha added.

"I am not a recording, frauline." I couldn't concentrate, my anger took me over completely but I remained still as a statue as he continued to speak.

"Cut off one head and two more shall take its place," Zola informed. Hydra was the reason I got into this mess, why I wasn't dead - why Bucky was.. Zola continued speaking - mostly about the history of hydra.

"We won captain, yours and miss Harrington's death amounts to the same as your lives - a zero sum." Unleashing an angry scream, I pulled back my fits and smashed it into the computer face but Zola just found another computer screen and continued.

"Molly, come on we've gotta go," Steve yanked me off the stand and threw me into a metal shaft when a loud explosion entered my ears.

 

 

 

"Come on ladies let's clear the room, we've got wounded soldiers coming in!" Dr. Grant hollered to all of us. I straightened out my shirt and rolled up my sleeves before a hurricane of screaming men came flooding around us. As soon as I saw a soldier my body flew into action and I asked the men carrying him what happened.

"Got caught in a blast, there still some pieces of it still inside him." One of them informed me with a voice coated with panic. The main parts of the body that were a concern had been the leg and chest.

"Hold him down," I instructed coolly. The two soldiers did as I said as I began irrigating the wound with water. It needed to be removed immediately, glancing upwards I looked around for the doctor but couldn't see him. Hesitated a moment before jumping into action with sanitizing my tools. Using a little bit more water to clear the area before taking my pliers and inched closer to get a sure look of the shrapnel.

"What the devil do you think you're doing?" Dr. Grant barked at me, ripping my shoulder away from the soldier.

"There's shrapnel that needs to be removed, you looked busy and I thought-"

"You're  _thinking_  could've killed this lad. There's a soldier in the back corner that needs stitching," he continued to yell.

Dropping the tools, I huffed over to the bed in the corner where another soldier laid there dormant with his arm over his eyes. Looking over his body I spotted a good amount of blood coming out of his other arm, pulling a nearby stool over to the bed I sat down and carefully held the arm up so I could see but his shirt was in the way.

"Soldier I'm going to need you to remove part of your shirt so that I can attend to this shot wound." My voice was stoic, so that I didn't sound angry.

"Just part of it? Why not the whole thing?" he groaned.

"Whatever you want just remove it please." I turned my body to the desk and pulled out the supplies I needed for this simple task.

"Molly?" The voice was clear and to me it had been unmistakable. My eyes clapped onto the bright baby blues of James Buchanan Barnes. My body's initial response was to feel joy but my brain remembered our last encounter back in New York.

"Hey Buck, would you please finish with your shirt?"

"What, no 'happy to see you'? No 'how are you'?" he asked, removing his shirt. I had never seen Bucky naked before or even bare chested. Even in the hot summers he always wore an undershirt and it took me by surprise.

"Well I obviously know how you're doing and we can exchange pleasantries after I've finished with your arm." I finished putting the thread and needle together and inserted it into his skin. Bucky grunted and groaned.

"Pleasantries, huh? What're ya a brit now? Take after the good doctor?" his voice was strained from the pain.

"No more than you are," I clapped back getting into a rhythm so I could go quicker. It didn't take me long to finish. "You can put your shirt back on now," I informed, gathering up my supplies without looking at him. Bucky grabbed my wrist.

"Molly, what's wrong? Why won't you look at me?" he asked, his eyes searching my own for some kind of answer. "Is it because of New York? Is it because you said that you loved me?" my blood turned ice cold and I froze.

"Yeah I remember what you said and I remember you stomping off so I didn't get a chance to say nothing." I remained in my frozen state until Bucky's hand went up my arm - he would do that the girls he went on dates with so that they would do what he wanted.

"No!" I hissed, jumping from my chair. Bucky's face dropped and tears already started to spill. "No Bucky, I am not one your girls, I'm not going to let you just whisper in my ear, I'm not going to melt because I'm not that girl. I told you that I love you and I do but I don't need you to pretend." We both stared, the tension heavy and thick until I sighed and my shoulders slumped forward. "You'll need to stay here overnight but you're good to leave in the morning," I advised softly. I was barely hanging on, my clothes were the only thing keeping me together and I walked out of the hospital, thankfully unnoticed. The chaos had died down so I didn't feel bad for leaving either.

 

 

 

"Hey man, I'm sorry about this but we need a place to lay low," Steve apologized. The new guy looked at both Natasha and I.

"Everyone we know is trying to kill us," Natasha added.

"Not everyone."


	4. Chapter 4

**Part I - Chapter 4**

 

 

 

 

 

Over the next few days I stayed with Bucky and helped him with his wound. Dr. Grant said that he needed to stay until we knew that there wasn't any infection in his system and not knowing our history, he put me in charge of him. I didn't want to see him again but I sucked it up and walked over to his cot.

"Back again? I thought after what happened yesterday you would've asked someone to switch," he admitted smugly.

"I'm barely earning my keep here so I don't question Dr. Grant," I responded before motioning to his arm. "I need to change the bandage, take off your shirt." My voice stayed stoic and my eyes hard. Bucky's smug grin melted away as he unbuttoned his shirt and took out his injured arm.

Leaning over him I got to work, thankfully the wound hadn't shown any signs of infection yet. I breathed a sigh of relief, which Bucky noticed.

"Everything okay?" he asked worried.

"So far there aren't any obvious signs of infection, how are you feeling?" I inquired, finally looking at his dirty face.

"I feel fine," he responded.

"No, chills or breathing difficulty?" I asked, placing a hand on top of his forehead, it wasn't abnormally warm, a good sign. Bucky sighed through his nostrils and shook his head.

"No, I'm fine - unlike the other guys in here," he pointed out.

The room was still thick was sickness and injury but it wasn't a smell that made me uneasy. I remembered helping Steve's mother when she caught TB, this was worse but the smell of sickness would always be the same.

"A lot of them are already dying, we're just trying to make them as comfortable as possible," my voice came out colder than I would've liked. I poured some water in a nearby basin, took a clean cloth and to got it wet then proceeded to clean up Bucky's face. At first he was silent but then he spoke up like he would explode if he didn't say anything.

"Molly, I'm sorry about yesterday, I don't think of you as one my 'girls'. You're my best friend and I -" I didn't want to hear anymore so I stood up again.

"I'll be back tonight to change it again," I interrupted, putting the rag back in the basin. before walking away.

The next few days were like this, these awkward exchanges before they turned into something I looked forward to. Bucky started acting like himself again and I did the same, we laughed and joked. My affection for him grew once more and got even bigger - until the last day came.

"What's with the frown nurse Harrington?" he asked jokingly.

"You get to leave tonight, this is your last bandage before you're cleared to go back," I answered in sighs. Bucky frowned and pursed his lips together into a thin line but the frown didn't stay for long.

"It'll be good to get back out there again," he answered firmly. My eyes narrowed and I lips bundled into a pout.

"Take off your shirt," I demanded. Bucky knew I was upset, it's not like I tried to hide the fact.

"Molly this is war, I'm a lieutenant. I can't just stay here and be with you. Everyday the Germans are winning this war," he explained.

"So you're just going to win this war all by yourself is that it?" I snapped.

"No but I need to be out there doing something. Look, I've loved being in here, spending time with you but I have to get back out there." I nodded and sighed.

"I know, I'm - I'm just scared for you is all. I'm scared to see you back in here in a condition that no one can fix or worse." Emotion had started to rise in my voice. "I'm in love with you James Barnes and I know you don't feel the same and I know I've already told you this but being here with you has only made me love you more so I think after today we should just go our separate ways until the war is over," I explained.

"After your shift meet me behind the hospital," he replied simply with a soft voice. His blue eyes were soft and full. His whole expression was soft and vulnerable - very unBucky like but I nodded and finished his final bandage.

The hours slowly ticked away, it had been slow because no one had received orders to go anywhere, which meant no one to help so I cleaned up the hospital and watched Bucky go, he looked at me once before leaving the tent door. When I was finally given the okay to leave, I walked to the back where Bucky had been standing. He met my gaze and smirked, holding out his hand.

"Come with me," I took his hand and we walked into the forest, the sun was still up but it wouldn't be long before darkness would cover the woods.

"Okay," I muttered.

We walked away from the camp, the sounds of men getting fainter and the lights dimmer. Normal girls would've been nervous to follow a soldier in the forest so close to dark and if Bucky and I didn't have any history I wouldn't have followed him but I trusted him with my life. Bucky came to a stop, we were in a small clearing, protected by tall trees.

"Buck, what are we doing here?" I asked, slowly taking my hand back but Bucky held onto it tighter, so I walked closer to him, his back facing me. He turned slowly, his head down and hesitantly looking up at me.

"Molly, I'm not sure how to act around you. You aren't like any other girl I've ever been with. You're funny, you aren't afraid of getting your hands dirty. Seeing you this week, interacting with other patients - you have the biggest heart of anyone I know - except Steve," we a huffed a laugh together. "I don't know what I've done to warrant any kind of feelings from you and this whole week I've been trying to figure it out and I don't know why it took you calling me James to change anything but I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, thinking about your heart. You're so beautiful Molly and - and I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you, I think I've been in love with you for a long time I just never knew until this week."

"James, don't say you love me because I've said it to you. I mean it and if you don't feel this way and you're afraid that not loving me is going to ruin our friendship you don't need to -"

"That's not what I'm scared of Molly," Bucky interrupted, pulling me closer. Our bodies were touching. "I'm in love with you, I'm sorry it took me so long and I know right now isn't a great time to start a relationship because of the war but I love you." His hand went up to the base of my jaw. Hesitantly he lowered his head to mine, our noses brushed together until our lips connected.

I knew Bucky had experience in the kissing field but I definitely did not so I followed his lead. Eventually I relaxed and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Bucky's arms wound themselves around my waist and he guided me to a tree trunk where he pressed his lips harder to my own.

"Are you sure Bucky?" I asked, breathless.

"I like it when you call me James and I'm sure," he panted before going back to my lips.

I didn't know how long we were out there but I could feel my lips swelling and I knew my hair was in disarray. I turned away from him enough to fix my hair, it was dark now so I couldn't see anything but I knew if I looked out of order, the other nurses would know. James kissed my jaw and neck, I flinched because it tickled.

"James, we have to keep this a secret - at least until one of us gets discharged. I don't want to get in trouble."

"Agreed, let's meet here every night after your shift," he concluded. I nodded.

"Okay I'll leave first and then you follow." Bucky smirked but agreed. "I'll see you tomorrow." I started to walk out of the clearing when Bucky grabbed my wrist and pulled me back for one last kiss. I could feel him grin and I'm sure I was grinning along with him.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you."

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Part I - Chapter 5**

 

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXO6FBVh0oA>

 

_Quick Author's Note!! Don't play the song until I tell you to!_

 

 

It had been a few weeks since mine and Bucky's little escapade, which resulted in us going together. The added secret of it all made it better, there was an added danger of not getting caught. Once in a while there would be a letter from "home" but it'd actually be from him and every night after I was finished with my shift we would meet in the clearing and we'd talk or kiss but we were together.

One night after my shift, I had started to make my way towards the clearing like usual. I had just entered the forest when the snap of a branch instinctively put me on alert mode. My heels turned in the dirt and my eyes darted from various points of view but not seeing anyone or anything I continued on my way, a little spooked but still alert. I got a little farther when the snap happened again, I had to have been followed.

"James, is that you?" I asked keeping my voice light, incase it had been him messing around. There hadn't been a reply but I didn't leave yet. "I know you're out there and you should know that I can handle anything you throw at me," I warned, only half believing the words. Again, there wasn't any noise so cautiously I turned back around but, not before picking up a rock to use if it became necessary.

The light had just left the sky, with only purples and pinks left but that meant only minutes till the light was completely gone. I slowed my pace so I could hear my surroundings and so far there hadn't been anything. I could see the clearing up ahead and a small sigh of relief came out of me - too soon. A hand grabbed my arm, pulling me back against a body, gripping my rock I used my legs to swerve and bash the rock against my stalker's head.

A cry echoed throughout the clearing, birds flew from their trees and I ripped my arm away to find a man in a tall black trench coat and round glasses, cradling the side of his face that I damaged.

"Who are you? Why are you following me?" I snapped in a commanding voice, holding the rock high above my head.

"My name is Arthur Warren, I work with Dr. Erskine!" he called out with his hands up.

"Why were you stalking me, Arthur Warren?" I snapped. He put a shaking hand in his coat pocket and pulled out a letter.

"Dr. Erskine asked me to deliver this to you," he held out to me. Taking it from his hand, I opened it and briefly read it.

It was time. Dr. Erskine found a better use for me! He said it would be risky and dangerous but with me we could potentially end the war quicker. I breathed a sigh of excitement. The war being over meant Bucky and I could be together - with Steve, I couldn't wait to tell him.

"When do we leave?" I asked, returning to the crouched man.

"Tomorrow at dawn, there'll be a truck with me in it - so long as you promise not to hit me again," he groaned.

"Right, sorry about that but you shouldn't really sneak up on people out here - it's a war," I chuckled sheepishly, helping him to his feet.

"I'll keep it in mind," he laughed. Arthur Warren had a handsome face, with strong features and clear green eyes and blonde hair.

"Okay I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Warren."

"Tomorrow," he responded, before leaving me alone.

I finished the walk to the clearing, rereading the letter. I had no idea what Dr. Erskine had planned for me but I couldn't wait to help end the war.

"Hey, are you okay? I heard someone screaming," Bucky asked, wrapping his arms around my hips to turn me around.

"Yeah I'm wonderful, I've received a chance to help with the war!" I exclaimed, kissing Bucky on the cheek.

"I thought that's what you were doing here," Bucky asked confused. I handed him the letter so he could see what I meant. "Dangerous? What does it mean by dangerous?" he asked, with a lot less enthusiasm than I had hoped for.

"Well we're in a war Buck, it's going to be dangerous - working in the hospital is dangerous," I pointed out with a little laugh.

"Molly I don't think you should do this," his voice dropped an octave and my excitement had begun melting away.

"What'd you mean? Bucky don't you see? Dr. Erskine says with me and his science stuff I can help turn the tide of the war," I started reaching for his face so he'd look at me. "We could go home, back to Brooklyn. You, me, Steve then we wouldn't have to be a secret an- and everything can go back to the way it was," I explained but Bucky's expression remained unconvinced and disinterested.

"Except it won't be the way it was because you'll be some freak science experiment. What are they going to do to you Mol?" He asked, pulling my hands away from his face and walking away.

"I don't think he wanted to put the details in the letter - in case Arthur got taken," I pointed.

"Who's Arthur?" he demanded.

"He gave the letter to me, I hit him with a rock, which is who you heard screaming - I thought he was attacking me," I explained. Bucky scratched the back of his head, trying to make sense of everything. "I thought you'd be happy for me, James," I muttered.

"You aren't going, not unless I can go with you," he concluded.

"James, be reasonable, you can't come with me. I would love if you could but you said it yourself all those weeks ago back in the hospital that you're needed here. Well, I'm needed there, Dr. Erskine needs me and I'm not going to just ignore him so you'll feel better," I defended with my arms crossed. Bucky, walked over to me with his hands reaching for my waist.

"What if you turn a different color or - or get extra limbs, what if something goes wrong?" he whispered. "I just got you, I- I don't want to lose you," he muttered, resting his forehead on top of mine.

"I've already lost you James, you don't think I'm constantly worried that you're going to get orders to leave, we've already talked about this. James, there isn't anything you can say that'll make me stay. We can still write, we just won't be as close for now." Bucky swallowed and pushed me away so he could see my eyes.

"There's one thing I can say. You're going to have to choose Molly. Me or Dr Erskine?" A scoff left my mouth, waiting, hoping that he be joking but there wasn't even a glimmer of humor behind his expression.

"You're not asking me, to choose between you and the country, are you?" I asked, pushing his arms away from me.

"You've left me with no other option Molly," he sighed. I blinked, not wanting to believe anything that he was saying.

"Yeah? Well what about you? What would you choose between me or them?" I nodded towards our camp. His jaw tightened and he looked away from me. "That's right, it's not fair when I ask but it's perfectly fair for you to ask me," I scoffed.

"You." he answered with absolution. I blinked and my mouth dropped.

"What?" I asked softly. Bucky walked over to me, I tried to back up but stopped against a tree trunk. He put his hands on the tree trunk to get closer.

"I choose you," he whispered. "Molly, I love you and I will always choose you. Do you choose me?" he asked, his breath ragged.

"You're telling me that if I wanted you'd run away with me through the dangerous nazi filled forest of Austria? You're telling me that you'd abandon your comrades in the middle of a world war with me?" I asked, skeptical. Bucky nodded.

"That's exactly what I'm saying," his voice still whispering, there was no uncertainty in his voice, no questions.

Bucky's lips all but attacked mine and for a moment, I got caught up in the romance. I pictured us sneaking out in the middle of the night. Eventually finding our way back to America or laying low in some village that hadn't been touched by the war or something like that. I thought about the men that would die while we lived in joy. I thought about the people I couldn't save or the war just going on and on because we chose to run. The thought of being on the run for the rest of our lives because the US government would be searching for deserters.

I pushed Bucky away and turned away from the tree trunk, hot tears threatening to fall.

"Bucky - James, please don't choose me," I whispered, my tone even and cool.

"What?" he asked, breathless. I stood tall, fixed my uniform and hair before turning back to face him.

"I said, don't choose me. You'll get executed for desertion that is if we don't get caught by the Nazi's," I could feel the emotion rising in my throat and I could see it in Bucky's face.

"I love you - more than anything that I have loved in my life but I  _have_ to do this and I hope that you can forgive me once the war is over." Bucky's face turned to stone, no sense of softness that he used to have for me.

"If I don't see you tomorrow, we're done Molly. I won't wait for you in Brooklyn and I won't look for you," his voice cold - like a statue. The words had cut me like shards of glass but I remained stoic and strong.

"Alright then, I won't be bothered to write then. Goodbye Bucky," I whispered before turning my back to him and walking into the ever coming night.  

I started at a slow walk but then I broke into a run in order to escape the emotions, the sadness that had started to creep in. I stopped at the border between the forest and camp, my chest heaving with emotion and exhaustion. I tried to take a step forward but my knees collapsed and I ended up on the ground, tears blanketing my cheeks. My chest hurt beyond comprehension so much so that I thought I was dying. No matter how much I tried, the tears wouldn't stop. I didn't understand, didn't know how I would be able to cope. I pressed my hands over my mouth and nose to keep myself quiet.

I could've stayed there all night but I heard footsteps behind me and knew that it was Bucky so I stood up and sprinted to the tent with the rest of the nurses, who thankfully were too involved with their own conversation to even see me come in. I snuck to my cot and started to gather my belongings as quietly as possible. My sobs had stopped all that was left where my silent tears.

Once I finished packing, I quickly changed for bed and waited for sleep to claim me. It didn't take long but I had decided that no man would make me cry again. After tonight, there would be no more emotion, no chance of another love, no chance of getting hurt.

The next morning, I woke early, changed into a clean uniform and crept through the camp until I saw the truck that Arthur Warren had told me about.

"You don't have anymore rocks, do you?" he asked, half joking. I attempted to smile but shook my head. "Good, let me take your duffel." I gave it to him and took one last glance at the camp, no one had been up yet, the sun hadn't even come up. Turning my head around, my eyes landed on Bucky, who stood in his doorway, arms crossed. My heart panged but I pushed my lips into a thin line and stared back at him until I heard the truck door open and I got in, not looking back him instead looking towards my future.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Part I - Chapter 6**

 

"So what's your deal?" Sam asked me, while Steve and Natasha used the bathroom. I had been left in Sam's kitchen. We still had no idea who the Winter Soldier was, just that he was alive and dangerous.

"My deal?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah are with SHIELD or are you just Cap's roommate?" he asked, with a stoic expression. My expression rested and I nodded.

"I'm not with SHIELD and I'm a little bit more than simply Steve's roommate. We're best friends, have been since the 1920s'," I responded coolly. Sam's eyes widened and his mouth dropped, I smirked and glanced down at my hands.

"You have aged  _extremely_  well, if I might say so," he laughed. A small giggle bubbled out of my mouth and it felt so good.

"No - I uh I was in the ice with Steve, we put the air ship in the water together back in 1941," I clarified with a grin.

"How come I've never seen your stuff in the museum?"

"Because I'm not Steve, when I woke up it was just a scientific miracle. There aren't any public records of what I did in the war - Dr. Erskine planned it that way but the truth is I'm just like Steve - except without the growth spurt, that had been a flaw in the serum before Erskine perfected it and gave it to Steve," I explained. Sam had now been captivated by my story and had sat down at his table next to me.

"What did you do exactly?" he asked. I took in a breath prepared to break my government promise. It only seemed fair since they were trying to kill us.

"I was an undercover spy. I would sneak my way through enemy lines listen to conversations in German - translate them to English. Whenever a prisoner of War was captured they would bring me in and I would listen for lies. You have to understand that the serum worked differently on me than it did Steve because it wasn't perfect quite yet, it still had some of the properties like strength and endurance but I didn't grow other skills I already had did. My mother called me psychic but I guess in today's' terms you'd call me an empath. I can feel things from people, I can tell their emotions, if they're lying - or dangerous so I was used in anyway that they could use me," I explained. It felt good to get it off of my chest, to actually tell someone else a little what I've been through.

"Why haven't you ever told me this?" Steve asked, leaning against the kitchen entrance with expression of confusion and disappointment.

"I was sworn to secrecy and I wasn't sure if I was still held to that if the portion of the Government is trying to kill me - and my friends," I shrugged. "If you want, we can swap war stories after this whole mess, alright?" Steve shook his head and sighed, obviously disappointed. 

"I'm just sick of all the lying," he emphasized.

Getting up from my seat, I walked over to Steve, putting a hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at me.

"Steve, I'm sorry, I didn't do it to hurt you and once this is all over we can go back to normal we can work on our honesty and crap like that but right now we've got bigger wintery problems." Steve nodded and we began focusing on taking down Hydra and it started with Steve's rescue earlier this week.

"We're cutting it a little bit close here," Natasha pointed out. She, I and Jasper Sitwell were crammed in the back of Sam's car, driving on the freeway.

"We'll use him to bypass the DNA scans and access the helicarriers directly," Steve explained.

"What?" Sitwell, snapped, leaning forward. "Are you crazy? That is a terrible terrible idea." A thump landed on top of Sam's car, all of our eyes looking upward but in the next moment, an arm crashed through the window, grabbing Sitwell and yanking him out onto on coming traffic.

Natasha bolted for Steve so I moved into the back, unholstering my gun but shots coming from the roof, didn't give me a good idea of how to get a shot. In the next moment the car halted back, forcing the Winter Soldier to fly off the car but with the use of his metal arm, he became stable on the ground.

A gun fight ensued, we moved the fight from the bridge to a main street. Natasha had the run on him first, I ran forward in case that he got away from her. I did my best to get people off the street in the meantime. Turning back, I saw Natasha with her back against a car and fear etched on her face, she had to have been hit and with Steve nowhere in sight it had been up to me.

Taking a deep breath, I dug my feet into the asphalt and bolted until I gained enough speed to push to a jump and landed on the soldier's back, he was quick to get me off and attempted to shoot again but moving out of the way, I went for the metal arm, if I could at least rip it off, he'd be less likely to kill. I moved and used my strength to get him onto his back and started to pull and bend but he didn't last long on the ground. Before I knew it, he had me pinned, his metal arm attempting to strangle me, I fought trying to use my legs but he had me pinned and I was out of shape and out of practice. I continued to hit and struggle until Steve came crashing against him, air came surging back into my lungs but it wasn't long until Steve and the Soldier were at a one on one fight.

I pushed myself into an upright position and watched the fight from the sideline, calculating any kind of move that I could use to get the Soldier off guard but so far Steve had been holding his own. Steve flipped over the Winter Soldier, his face mask falling off. I took the opportunity to get up and stand by Steve, if there were two of us he definitely didn't stand a chance. The Soldier stood and turned to face us again.

My breathing stopped, my heart held its breath, my arm grabbed onto Steve's. There had been no way that it was possible. I blinked so many times, waiting for myself to wake up but it never happened.

"Bucky?" Steve asked. My eyes watered at the sight of my long haired Bucky - still living.

"Who the hell is Bucky?" He asked, raising his gun at the two of us. Sam pushed him from the behind.

"Molly you have to leave," Steve urged.   
"Steve it's - it's Bucky," I cried. Bucky looked over at us, confused but held up his gun again only to have a blast come from Natasha.

"No!" I screamed. The smoke lifted, no body, he was fine.

My knees buckled, my breathing turned into hyperventilation and tears were slipping down my cheeks. I felt confused, my mind racing with every different kind of scenario on how he possibly could've survived that fall. Questions of why he didn't recognize either of us, swirled around - it became too much for me. My hands grabbed the sides of my head, my breathing became hollow. I could feel hands on my body but I didn't know who they belonged to where what was happening. I screamed. Letting out all the confusion but by doing so, I felt my body being roughly pushed to the ground, my wrists being restrained.

"Steve it's him," I sobbed. All sense of control had vanished, my tears and breathing overtook me until someone had stabbed me with something and everything became drowsy. 

 

 

 

**Next chapter will be the last of Part I**


	7. Chapter 7

**Part I- Chapter 7**

 

So I guess Fury hadn't been dead at all.

After the bridge we were all taken into custody but someone who knew Steve and Natasha ended up saving us where we found Fury alive. I know I should've been paying attention to everything that was being said but the only thing that I could possibly focus on was Bucky. I knew Steve had to have been thinking about him as well but I didn't care about anything else like he did.

"Mol', you with us?" Steve asked. I snapped my attention to the present and stared wide eyed at Steve.

"Sorry - my mind is elsewhere," I muttered.

"Look I know you saw your old friend but he doesn't remember you," Natasha explained with bluntness, her eyes narrowing at me.

"You don't get it," I sighed, getting to my feet.

"Before I was super soldiered I was a nurse during world war two but in the same base camp as Bucky - purely coincidence. He got shot and I was assigned to help him," I paused before going forward. " We got closer and fell in love but when I told him about my procedure he got scared and told me to choose between him and the procedure. Obviously you know what I chose but that had been the last time I saw him before he supposedly died. Now that he's back it's like every emotion I've been carrying around just surfaced," I explained, my whole body trembling. "I really want to help but I'm not in shape - any kind of shape to be worth helping. I'm sorry you're going to have to do this without me," I frowned.

Steve stared up at me with understanding and nodded. I didn't expect or care if the rest of the group understood what was going on but I was not in any shape to hurt Bucky. The emotions were all too fresh.

"It's okay Molly, I understand. He's my best friend but I know you aren't ready yet. You sit this one out," Steve assured.

For me the plan was to stay low here and when it was all over Steve would come back. Once everyone had cleared out and it was just me, I allowed myself to completely fall apart. The tears flowed, the anger filled my soul. Energy started to creep into me so I decided to start running, at first I was slow but it hadn't been long before my muscles kicked into gear and my superhuman speed picked up.

The tears stopped but anger and rage still rippled through me. Bucky should have been dead, but instead some sick scientist mutilated his body and erased his memory. Running hadn't been enough for me. I stopped at a wall, mustered any kind of strength I had and threw my hand against the wall. It hurt but not as much as it would if I were back to my old self. I continued to hit and scream until eventually a small hole had taken place within the wall.

The rage subsided, anger still existed but it was under control and I knew I could use that anger fuel me, to motivate me to hurt anyone who had hurt Bucky. Unfortunately Zola was already dead but that didn't mean I couldn't hurt anyone else associated with Hydra. I didn't remember the whole extent of the plan but I knew that the helicarriers were bad news and needed to be stopped so that's where I would start.

I made my way out of a tunnel and started towards SHIELD, stealing a motorbike in the process. I would do everything I could but if it came down to me and Bucky, there's no way I could hurt him, so I prayed that it wouldn't come close to that.

By some miracle I had made it before the helicarriers were out but just barely, they had already started to enter the sky.

Pressing hard on the gas, I rode towards one until I managed to get on, it looked just like a road but with other aircrafts on top. I didn't know who were the friends and who were the enemies but I had been in range to use the communicator Steve had given me.

"Steve, I think I'm on one of the carriers!" I yelled into my wrist.

"Molly? What are you doing here? I thought you were laying low?" Steve asked.

"I got angry and couldn't stay away but Steve I won't be able to hurt Bucky," I warned.

"I know it'll be hard Molly but if it comes to that Bucky won't be angry - our Bucky won't be."

"What should I do?" I asked.

"Grab a gun and shoot at anyone who shoots at you," he explained. Simple enough.

Didn't take long for me to find a gun and maintain a vantage point. So far it had been quiet so I moved around, looking for anything that could help. Soon a group of fliers came through, I focused on the group, taking deep breaths and after a while knew that they were on our side.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I moved my eyes elsewhere until an explosion came from the aircrafts. I aimed, looking for the culprit and of course it was Bucky. I stayed as much out of sight as possible, the moment I took a shot, my cover would be blown and I would be forced to fight him but he continued to clear out the helicarrier so I breathed evenly and aimed for the metal arm. The bullet left my gun but barely scratched him. His sights were on me and instead of seeing James or Bucky I saw Hydra. The rage and anger fueled my soul once again and this time when we fought, I felt prepared. It started with a gun fight but I ran out of bullets, he soon followed but he had also brought a gun.

My old war time combat had been no match for the winter soldier. I had a few good blows and even knocked the knife out of his hands but Bucky had grabbed my neck and had started to raise my body off the ground. I struggled for breath.

"B-Bucky, it's me," I gasped, reaching towards his face but never reaching it. He flinched but recovered quickly. His eyes were cold, ice cold and murderous. "Please remember me James," I whispered. "James, remember," I pleaded. A shadow. A flash of recognition flew behind the coldness in his eyes but it didn't stay long and his grip got tighter. "It's okay James, I... forgive you... I love you," I whispered. I could feel my eyes roll in the back of my head and the dizziness take over.

"Bucky - No!" Steve screamed. I had been dropped but breathing still didn't come easy, my eyes were closed and my body relaxed against the metal ground.

*Steve's POV*

My sight went first to Bucky but then to Molly. I didn't know how to get her off without getting in his way. Bucky didn't seem to care, he charged towards me and my mind went back into mission mode as the two of us fought hand to hand until he pushed me off the side. I landed on the side with my hands barely holding on but eventually made it onto the side and on the ramp leading to where I needed to be. Halfway to the control panels, stood Bucky directly in front of me. I stopped, and tried to talk to him.

"A lot of people are gonna die Buck," no emotion. "I'm not gonna let that happen," I told him firmly. Still nothing, my hopes for him were fading. "Please don't make me do this," I pleaded. Bucky wasn't in there, not now so I took a deep breath before throwing my shield and entering the fight.

*Molly*

My eyes snapped open, air violently filled my lungs. My body jolted forward, I felt my neck, no permanent damage but it would bruise. Slowly getting to my feet, I searched for Steve or Bucky but didn't see anything.

"Sam, where did Steve go?" I asked, into the comm.

"Your boyfriend knocked him off the side, he's going towards the control panel to shut down the last helicarrier. Molly I've been grounded, you have to help him," Sam informed. I nodded and peered over the edge and saw what could've been a wing. Backing up, I took a deep breath before lunging off the side of the helicarrier, barely making it to the spot. When I got some footing, I glanced upwards and saw exactly where Steve and James were and where I needed to be.

It didn't take me long to get up there to back Steve up. Maybe with two super soldiers we could even the playing field. I blocked attacks from Bucky and tried hitting him in the ribs or neck but he also would block so that's when Steve would attack.

"Molly, take this and put it in the empty slot!" Steve grunted, handing me thin device. Taking it from him, I heard the two fighting behind me. I knew I wouldn't have too much time before Bucky would avoid Steve chase after me. Locating the empty slot I jammed the new device inside and turned just in time for Bucky to hit my jaw. I spun and hit the ground but not before I heard shots fired. I hadn't been hit but looking up, Steve had stood in front of me, taking the bullets.

"Steve!" I yelled. My eyes darted towards the winter soldier and narrowed. Letting out a scream I drop kicked Bucky, forcing him to fall and land on the glass floor below us. That gave me about a minute to help Steve. My hands immediately put pressure on the wound, he raised his wrist and gave the order to open fire.

"Molly you've got to get out of here," he panted.   
"No, not without you," I answered. More shots but this time it was the three helicarriers shooting each other. I got Steve to his feet just as our helicarrier began to shake and fall apart. A lout familiar scream jumped through the air. Both of us peering over the edge, seeing Bucky pinned under something heavy. We took a glance at each other before both of us jumping down and lifting the beam letting him go.

"Bucky, you know us," Steve pushed. Bucky stared at us like a wild animal, his eyes wide and afraid.

"No, I don't!" he yelled, throwing a punch to Steve. I responded in kind.

"Yes you do! Bucky, you, me and Steve have been friends since we were kids." The more we talked the more angry and confused he became.

"Your name is James Buchanan Barnes," Steve panted.

"Shut up!" he screamed pushing Steve to the ground.

"Bucky! You used to love me, I still love you! You like it when I call you James," my voice came out desperate. Desperate for him to hear me, to see me - us.

"No I don't!" he screamed. This time his blow happened as the window towards the side shattered and me falling out of it and into the Hudson river - leaving Steve alone.

 

 

**Sorry it took me a hot minute to update but I needed to recover from Endgame haha. Hope you enjoyed the end of the first part of this mini series!**


	8. Part II

**Part II**

**Chapter 8**

 

Life had been different now that I knew Bucky was alive. I got back into shape and even became apart of the “Avengers” helped Tony with his little A.I disaster but my only goal had been to find Bucky. Sometimes, I didn’t want to find him, and I hated myself for thinking it but there were flashes of his face where he didn’t recognize me that still killed me and there was the memory of him, Steve and I on the helicarrier. Maybe it would’ve been better just let him be, after all, our last exchange before he died hadn’t been a pleasant one.

After Sokovia I tried following a new lead that put me back in Brooklyn but it didn’t end up being anything so I resorted to facial recognition tracking. Bucky was doing an amazing job not being found. My eyes watered, frustrated and aching from the bright screen. Closing the computer, a soft groan left my lips while my body contorted into a stretch.

“Still looking?” Steve’s voice appeared from the door. I turned and nodded.

“Always, I need answers Steve,” responded, pushing my hair back away from my face. Steve sighed and nodded.

“I do too but  he isn’t going to make it easy - he doesn’t want to be found and I think we should respect that,” he pointed out. My shoulders slouched forward and I heaved a sigh.

“I know I should and a part of me just wants to let go and move on but what if that were me? What if Bucky was the one that got the other serum and I was the one who got brain hijacked? Would you give up on me?” I asked, shrugging.  Steve came inside and squatted down to my level. 

“Never, Bucky and I love you so much. We’d never stop looking,” Steve promised, holding my hands.

“Exactly! I know that he isn’t the same Bucky we both grew up with  and I don’t even know if he remembers me or - or loves me and I don’t know if I love him anymore but I need to find him so I have those answers - so I can have closure,” I explained. 

“I understand, all I’m saying is take it easy, okay?” He asked, putting a hand on the side my face. I leaned into it with a side smile and for a long moment Steve and I were quiet, just staring at one another and all of a sudden my heart skipped a beat. It surprised me enough to flinch and lean away from Steve.

“Steve?” It was Vision’s voice that interrupted the silence and the relief that went through my chest was grateful. 

“Yes, Vision?” Steve asked, not looking at him but still at me and I forced my expression to stay stoic. 

“We have intel on Brock Rumlow that I believe you should see.” Steve finally looked away from me and at Vision and nodded.    
“I’ll be right there,” he called. Vision gave me a polite nod and left the room. 

“Sounds like another mission, you coming?” he asked.  I shook my head.

“Nah I think I’ll just stay here and work out a little.”

“Okay,” Steve squeezed my hand one last time before leaving me alone. I spent more time on the computer, until it grew dark and eventually my eyes were shut and my head slumped against the keyboard. 

It was the start of another nightmare only instead of it being in the 1940’s it was back on the bridge. Bucky stood there, gun in hand, mask off and he started to walk towards me. I tried to run but my feet couldn’t move so running hadn’t been option.

“Buck it’s me, it’s Molly!” He didn’t flinch. “Molly! You, Steve and I are all friends, remember?” I grew frantic as his menacing eyes remained vacant. “James! Please don’t do this!” I cried, “James, I’m sorry I left! Please, I still love you!” Bucky stopped a few feet away from me and lowered his gun. Slowly, hope filled my chest, I reached my hand out like addressing rabid dog. Bucky blinked and he started to come back. 

“Mol-Molly?” he asked, his voice confused. “What am I doing here?” he asked, surveying his surroundings. 

“James, it’s okay, everything is going to be okay,” I soothed, reaching for his hand.

“Molly, how are you here?” he asked.

“I-I survived the crash with Steve and you survived that fall off the train.”

“I don’t remember falling off any train.”

“What  _ do _ you remember?” I asked, finally holding onto his hand. Bucky looked down at our hands and moved closer to me. Relief and ecstasy took over my body, my other hand flew to his face, my thumb making small circles on his cheek.

“I remember the war, you were a nurse. You took care of me when I got shot...”

“Yes! Yes I did, what else do you remember?”

“A part of the forest where we would sneak off to at the end of the day to be together. You left me there to - to go be a science experiment,” his voice changed from confused to angry.

“James, you know why I had to go but look at me, I’m perfectly normal.” Bucky took my hand away from my face.

“ _You_ _left me_ to face the war - alone so you could play hero!” he hollered.

“James I’m sorry - I thought I was making the right choice!” I argued. 

“No! You were making a selfish choice,” he growled before turning away from me. 

“James please!” I begged, still unable to move.

“No! Don’t you ever call me ‘James’ again... it’s the Winter Soldier to you,” he pointed his gun at me and pulled the trigger.

  
  


A deep sudden breath filled my lungs, my eyes frantically checked my surroundings to make sure that I was safe. Glancing at my computer and seeing no updates,  a relieved sigh blew out of my mouth. Checking the clock, it read a little past 2 o’clock in the morning and it meant that it was time to go back to sleep. I shuddered at the thought of the nightmare, it was different than the others, it was more likely to happen than the others and that scared more than anything else. 

I knew that I couldn’t sleep without distracting myself first so the best thing to start off was with honey and warm milk. Before that I needed to change, so I got out of my day clothes and put on some shorts and a maroon Brooklyn tourist shirt then made my way to the kitchen.

My heart felt as if it were an anchor plummeted into the ocean, just  wanting to be pulled up for air but unable to move. I wanted so much to save Bucky and help him with his memories and try again but at the same time maybe he would’ve been happier by himself. My mind swirled with the pros and cons and the consequences of each choice. In the midst of my confusion I took a sip of milk and let a satisfied sigh release. 

“Something wrong?” Steve asked. Instinctively I jumped and a little squeak escaped my lips. Steve laughed and walked into the kitchen, arms folded. He wasn’t dressed in his suit but sweats and a short sleeved t shirt.

“Yeah, you almost made me spill my milk,” I snapped, half joking.

“You only drink honey and milk when something is bothering you, what’s going on?” he asked, leaning against the opposite counter. 

“Nothing I want to talk about,” I responded. “Just another nightmare,” I added because I knew Steve wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.  “How was the mission?” I asked, changing the subject.

“It started out good but then Wanda made a mistake, she’s pretty torn up about it,” Steve answered but there was something else - my bones could feel it.

“There’s something else, you want to tell me something - it’s something you’ve been hiding.” Steve stopped with his sympathetic smile and his facial expression hardened. 

“Steve, what do you want to tell me?” I asked, moving closer to him.

“Molly don’t - don’t read me. Please. I want to be able to tell you myself.” He straightened up and bore his eyes into mine. I fought against my instinct to read him; Steve took in a deep breath and moved closer to me. 

“Steve you’re scaring me, what is it?” I whispered.

“I don’t know how to tell you something like this - because of Bucky.” My head jerked back, my mouth opened to speak but nothing came out so I closed it.

“You know for once, I don’t really want to talk about Bucky,” I finally sighed. 

“Good,” Steve whispered. I hadn’t noticed it until that moment but there was no distance between me and Steve. Suddenly I knew, I didn’t mean to know but I knew. Steve brought his head down to mine until our lips softly touched before Steve moved away.

“I had no idea,” I whispered. 

“I know, I planned on telling you after I super soldiered but Bucky told me about the two of you, how he let you leave thinking he didn’t love you and Buck’s my best friend I didn’t want to hurt him but -”

“Steve, Bucky’s gone. I mean he’s not  _ gone _ but whatever was left of him is gone. He’s not the man I had feelings for back in Brooklyn,” I explained. Steve said nothing and remained motionless so this time I initiated the kiss. 

Pushing up on my toes, I placed my lips on his. I pulled away super quick to make sure it’s what he wanted but I had hardly pulled away when Steve attacked my mouth. It shocked me at first, being kissed by Steve, it was so different than being kissed by Bucky. Steve was cautious, like he wanted to make sure that it was something that I wanted. He was so soft and slow while kissing Bucky was always like lighting a match then throwing it on a gasoline soaked pile of wood.  My heart skipped a beat just at the memory of kissing him so I poured into kissing Steve. I moved hands to around his neck, pulling him closer to me, his hands finally moved to my waist.

“We should probably get some sleep,” Steve panted. 

“No, I don’t want to sleep,” I argued, shaking my head. “I’m just going to have more nightmares,” I muttered, moving my hands from his neck to his shoulders. Steve breathed a sigh and  kissed the top of my head. 

“I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep,” Steve promised.  I knew he meant it but I knew I wouldn’t fall asleep easily. 

“Okay,” I replied, dropping my hands. Steve caught one of my hands and held it in his and together we walked back to my room. 

Neither of us had done anything like this before, deep down we were still kids from Brooklyn who knew it wasn’t socially acceptable to sleep with anyone before marriage. I knew I would have to take the lead because Steve was too pure to take it for me.  I let go of his hand and slipped under the covers and used my head to get him to follow me. Steve moved in above my covers and I smiled a little. I wasn’t ready to really sleep with Steve, I still felt confused about Bucky but maybe I could move on from him and try things with Steve, only time would tell.

Steve pulled me towards his body and rested his arm on my side, I turned towards him and nestled against him.

“Steve, I just want you to know that I’m - I’m still confused by all of this and with Bucky I’m not sure if I can really commit to this,” I confessed.

“I know, it’s weird for me to but I’m willing to try if you are.” I nodded and we talked about the old times, the missions until eventually sleep claimed me.

“Steve don’t leave me,” were the last words I spoke.


	9. Part II

“I’m willing to take that chance if it has anything to do with Rumlow,” Steve’s soft voice, made me rouse from sleep.  It couldn’t have been late, the sun had barely started to peek through my windows. 

“Did I wake you?” Steve asked, turning back to me. I shook my head and stretched my back.

“No, what’s going on?” I asked, my voice still groggy with sleep. 

“We think Rumlow has a new plan to unleash a dangerous virus,” He responded, walking back to my bed and sitting on the edge.

“Rumlow, he’s part of Hydra isn’t he?” I asked, more awake and positioning myself up right. 

“Yeah; Wanda, Sam, Nat and I are gonna head to Lagos and stop him, you interested?” I thought about it, it’d be nice to smash the last bit of Hydra into the dust but I still didn’t feel prepared enough.

“No I think I’ll pass and just train some more,” I shrugged. “Did you stay here all night?” I asked, looking up at Steve. 

He smiled and nodded, “You asked me to,” he shrugged. My cheeks burned and I turned away from him, biting my bottom lip so that I wouldn’t smile.

“Did you sleep at all?” My eyes shot up to x-ray every inch of his face to detect any sign of restfulness or sleepiness.

“A little but your snoring made it a little difficult.” My mouth dropped and I punched Steve in the shoulder.

“I do  _ not _ snore!” I laughed. 

“Captain Rogers I really think that I - oh sorry,” Vision started.

“Vision, we’ve talked about doors. One day you’re just going to waltz in and I’m going to be stark naked and I won’t apologize for it,” I sighed. Vision looked at the two of us, puzzled and unsure of what to do next.

“What is it Vision?” Steve asked. 

“I really think that I could be useful on this mission,” he argued.

“I know, but it needs to be a covert mission and I hate to say it but you just look too out of place,” Steve returned.  “Plus I need someone to watch over Molly, since she isn’t going,” he added.

“Excuse me? I’m sorry but did you forget that I’m actually a super soldier - like you? I don’t need protecting but Vision I could use a sparring partner if you’re up for it?”

“I don’t think you’d be any match for me but if you require my assistance then I’d love to help you,” he responded before going back through my wall. 

Steve went to bend his head closer to mine when my laptop beeped. It would only beep if it had found something. I felt torn, my body wanted to go and my heart felt confused still about Steve and Bucky and what it all meant. 

“What does that mean?” Steve finally asked.

“It means that he could’ve been detected, seen from our satellites - or it’s just another look alike,” I sighed, shaking my head. 

“Are you going to check it?” he asked. I shrugged.

“Eventually, right now I have something else in mind,” I whispered, reaching for Steve’s face.  Bringing his face down to mine, he kissed me once before pulling away. 

“I have to suit up but I’ll see you tonight,” he whispered, kissing my temple before getting up off my bed.

The beeping continued and the temptation to look and to know grew. I avoided the beeping all the way until the evening when I was sweaty and tired from an intense training session with Vision. I needed to know, Steve needed to know. Sitting at the desk I finally checked out the beeping. No matter what would happen, it didn’t change that the man that was no longer the Winter Soldier, also wasn’t Bucky.  Clicking around, I took a deep breath as the image loaded my mind and heart racing. The image loaded and my heart sank, another look alike. Scoffing, I rolled my eyes and went back out of my room and into the gym.

I started towards the nearest punching bag and without putting gloves on I started to hit at it in rhythmic beats. Anger boiled inside myself, anger at my hope, anger at the love I still carried with me. My hits became sloppy and fueled by emotion but I didn’t care, this wasn’t meant to be training. Aggravated growls left my mouth as the anger continued to build and consume me. A loud scream finally left my lips and a hard punch made the bag fly off and hit the nearest wall.

“Molly, are you alright?” Vision asked, monotonous. Panting, I pulled my gaze off of the broken bag and to Vision’s inquisitive face. 

“I’m fine, Vis,”I growled, backing away trying to find something else to hit.

“Molly, you screamed and have broken a punching bag. Now I’m still young but those are all clear signs of anger,” he pointed out. “Steve asked me to watch you and I think you need someone to talk to.” Giving up on the silent suffering, I spun on my heel and placed my hands on my hips.

“Yes Vision, I’m angry - I’m furious. I’m angry because of this hopeless search of Bucky. I’m angry because even though I’m trying - desperately trying to move on from him I’m still completely in love with him. I’m angry because he’s not even him anymore so this - this love I have for him is all for nothing.” During my rant, I couldn’t tell if I was just sweating more if I had actually started to cry. 

“I’m not very knowledgeable about love, it’s far too advanced for me but it sounds like what you’re going through is very confusing.” Rolling my eyes I walked away from  him. 

“Tell me about it. I just want it to end, I want all these feelings to just end,” I sighed. 

Vision stood there, staring at me not knowing what to say and I knew that wouldn’t know but it felt nice to get it off my chest to someone who was bias. My shoulders hung forward and I left the gym to shower off the sweat, tears and anger.

“Thanks for listening,” I called before leaving the gym door.

After my shower, I changed into some long shorts, a baggy shirt, grabbed a book then snuggled into my bed, trying everything not to think about Bucky, Steve or the complicated feelings I had for them - or neither or one of them. Thankfully, the book I was reading had captivated my full attention that I hadn’t noticed the sky darkening. The only reason I looked up from my book was to turn on my light so I could continue reading. 

A knock, tore me away from the pages and when I went to open the door, a distressed Steve stood at the entryway. His eyes were heavy with regret and guilt, his shoulders were slumped forward, his head barely could lift itself.

“Steve, are you okay?” I asked, pulling him into my room and embracing his body. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. 

“I’m fine, the mission didn’t go as planned,” he murmured.  My eyes widened with horror for the people of Lagos.

“What happened? Is everyone alright?” I hammered.

“Our team is fine but there was an accident. I got distracted - let my guard down and people got hurt,” he explained, finally looking me in the eyes. My hand rested on his cheek, my thumb rubbing circles on his cheek bone. 

“You didn’t mean to hurt anyone, it’s Rumlow’s fault.”

“No - but yes, he talked about Bucky and I just - I...” I pulled Steve’s head down to my shoulder.

“Maybe I should’ve gone,” I lamented.

“No, I’m glad you didn’t, it wasn’t safe out there.” I blinked a few times in the distance and pursed my lips together.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that to me. Come on, sit down.” I slowly pulled him towards my bed where we sat on the edge. “Steve, what do you need right now?” I asked. Steve heaved a sigh before looking at me.

“I just want to hold you - if that’s okay.” I melted and nodded.

“Of course it’s okay, come here,” I breathed, moving towards the middle of the bed. Steve, put his hands around my waist and pulled my back to his chest. Together we relaxed out on my bed on our sides, eventually I turned so that I would face him.

“It wasn’t him,” I paused. “The beeping from this morning, it was Bucky just another look alike,” I sighed.  Steve’s arms tightened around me and I realized in that moment that I wasn’t enough. I never meant to complete him or anything but in order for Steve to feel complete he needed Bucky.

“I won’t give up on him Steve. He might not be the same man I fell in love with but he’s still our best friend - so I won’t give up on him,” I promised. 

“Thank you,” Steve whispered before kissing my lips softly. 

  
  


He slept over again. I don’t remember moving from our cuddle, getting under the sheets, turning off the light or even falling asleep.  My eyes fluttered as a soft snore entered my hearing, I smiled against Steve’s chest and didn’t move from our position. A flash or a daydream of what this future would look like danced across my mind where we would wake up like this all the time, eventually retire from the Avengers and grow old together. It was beautiful, happy and satisfying but something in the back of my brain nagged at me that there was something missing - or rather there was  _ someone _ missing. 

I was so stuck inside my mind that I didn’t even notice that Steve’s soft snore had stopped.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, his voice thick with grogginess. 

“The future,” I replied simply, looking up at him. “Good morning sleepy head,” I greeted, pressing a small kiss to his lips. 

“Morning,” he sighed. 

“How are you feeling?” I asked softly.

“Better, thank you. I think I should go check in on Wanda,” he yawned. I nodded and rolled away out his arms and stretched out my whole body.

“Okay,”I sighed. Steve got up and left my room, leaving me to continue my stretching before deciding to get up and get dressed for the day. 

Hours later Vision informed us all that U.S Secretary of State, Thaddeus Ross was here to talk to all of us. I made my way to the conference room and sat next to Steve, neither of us touching the other. We hadn’t discussed if we were going to go public or not so I sat there, with a serious expression. Secretary Ross started out with an anecdote about a heart attack he experienced and how it gave him, “perspective”, it took everything I had not to roll my eyes at him.

“The world owes the Avengers an unpayable debt,” he started. “You have fought for us, protected us and risked your lives; but while a great many see you as heroes, there are some who would prefer the word vigilante,” he stated, looking each of us in the eye.

“And what word would you use, mr. Secretary?” Natasha asked, leaning forward in her chair.

“How about dangerous?” he answered. His response caught me off guard, like it did most of the team. “What word would you use to call a group of  US based, enhanced individuals who ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who frankly, seemed unconcerned about what they leave behind?” Steve and I glanced at each other. Secretary Ross, pulled up video footage from each time the Avengers helped when Lagos played, my eyes grew with empathy. I hadn’t seen the news footage but I knew that Wanda had blamed herself for what happened and it was upsetting her.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Steve spoke up and the screen went black.

“For the past four years you’ve operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That’s an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate,” he explained. “But I think we have a solution,” an armed guard handed Secretary Ross a thick book and placed on the table near Wanda. “ The Sokovia Accords, approved by 117 countries, it states that the Avengers will no longer be a private organization. Instead, they’ll operate under the supervision of a United Nations Panel, only if and when that panel deems it necessary.”

“The Avengers were formed to make a safer place, I believe we’ve done that,” Steve interjected. I agreed but Secretary Ross continued I shook my head in disbelief.

“Mr. Secretary, excuse me, hi. I don’t believe we’ve met, my name is Molly, I’m not really part of the Avengers but I wanted to point something out to you. New York, wasn’t our fault - I wasn’t even awake for it. D.C wasn’t our fault either,” I paused for a moment. “However, Sokovia was Tony’s fault so I’m not sure why we’re all being punished for Tony’s mistake?”

“Molly,” Steve whispered.

“No, Steve. I won’t be controlled by the Government, I went through that already and I paid heavily for it,” I snapped before getting up out of my chair and leaving the room.

 

“There’s no decision making process here,” Tony sighed. My anger started to boil again but I forced myself to keep it in check. “We need to be put in check.” That did it for me. Standing on my feet, I marched towards Tony.

“No, Tony  _ you _ need to be put in check.  _ You’re _ the one who just had to build a robot that would do your job for you.  _ You’re _ the one who couldn’t leave that stupid staff alone.  _ You’re _ the one that dropped that building on the kid’s head. Not them and sure as hell not me,” I growled before once again marching out the room and into the stairwell. 

If I had laser vision the concrete wall in front of me would’ve been decimated. My breathing picked up and yell left my mouth as I hit the wall. The door opened and Steve walked through, I took one look at him and knew something bad happened. The anger left my body the way a demon is expelled and I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“Steve, what is it?” I asked.  His eyes watered, he didn’t need to say it, it was Peggy.  Wrapping my hand around the back of his neck, I pulled him to my shoulder where he cried. I blinked back my own tears for him. It hurt to see him feel this way. Nothing mattered but Steve, not the accords, not my anger at Tony - not even finding Bucky mattered right now. Nothing mattered but helping Steve get through this and if anyone could it would be me.


	10. Part II

I had started packing for London. It was an awkward time between Steve and I because I knew their history and how it kind of clashed with our present but I decided the best thing I could do was to give him space but ready to be with him whenever he needed me. I didn’t know how long we would be in London so I packed for a few days to be on the safe side when a beep from my computer drew me away from packing. It had been another “sighting” and I immediately went to click out of it but I froze.

Everything inside me froze still, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. My heart felt like a heavy rock inside my chest.  Opening the page, I enlarged the image and there light as day stood the Winter Soldier, in a market in Bucharest, Romania. My heart immediately started to pound, my first instinct had been to tell  Steve but hesitated. He needed to mourn, so I kept it to myself, downloaded the program I used on the computer to my phone and continued packing until Steve knocked on my door.

“Hey, you almost ready?” he asked, walking in. 

“Yes, I am just grabbing something from the bathroom and I’ll be ready,” I called. 

Coming back into my room from the bathroom I saw Steve sitting on the side of my bed, his head hung low. My heart ached for him, I understood better than anyone and I knew that talking never really helped.

“Steve, are you sure you want to go?” I asked softly, kneeling in front of him. He nodded and sniffed deeply.

“Yeah, I need to go but I don’t want you to go if you don’t want to.” I held on to his hands tightly.

“Steve Rogers you are my best friend, nothing in this world can keep me from going. I understand better than anyone and I know I never talked about it but if you need someone to talk to about how you’re feeling then  _ please _ talk to me Steve,” I pleaded softly. Steve’s eyes glistened with tears, my own tears followed as I wrapped him in a hug. Together we cried until I hardened the wall in my heart and separated myself.

“Let’s go,” I muttered.  Steve nodded and together we stood up, gathered our belongings and went to London.

  
  


It had been a beautiful service and I made sure to hold Steve’s hand throughout the entire thing.  Afterwards he wanted to be left alone in the church so Sam and I went back to the hotel for a bit. By the time we had gotten into our room and flipped on the TV news of the United Nations Panel explosion had already been blasting on every channel. I sat on the edge of the bed and sighed, shaking my head.

“Photo evidence has identified James Buchanan Barnes as the culprit.” My eyes shot up at the screen and I narrowed my eyes at the picture that they had of him.

“Sam where was the conference being held again?” I asked, my eyes still glued to the screen.

“Vienna...” his voice drawled. A sigh left my mouth and my hand flew to my chest.

“It isn’t him, Sam,” I breathed.    
“How do you know?” he asked, still distracted.

“I’ve gotta find Steve,” I muttered, picking everything up and leaving the room.

It didn’t take long for Sam to get up and follow me. He called out my name but I couldn’t stop now.  When we reached the elevator, he snapped his fingers in my face to bring me back to the present.

“Sam listen, I have been trying to find any and all evidence of Bucky since Washington. The day we left for London I found him in Romania and I’ve been keeping track ever since. He hasn’t left so it’s impossible that he’s gone and blown up the UN.” Sam’s narrowed eyes and furrowed eyebrows told me that he wasn’t convinced but I didn’t to convince him, just Steve.

When we reached the bottom floor, Steve stood at the entrance, he already knew. He looked at the two of us and rested on me. I nodded.

“It’s not him Steve,” I blurted before he could say anything. “We need a way to get to Romania,” I added, moving past him to the concierge desk. 

“Wait, how do you know that it isn’t him?” he asked, his voice low. I held up my tracker and put it in his hands.

“That’s where he’s been for the past two days,” I explained matching his hushed tone.  His eyebrows went together and his jaw tightened. 

“How long have you known?”

“The day we left for London,” I sighed. “I wanted you to grieve, Steve. I was going to tell you before we left London but not before the funeral,” I added. Steve couldn’t decide on which emotion so it made him harder to read. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away but we have got to get to Romania before anyone else does because if they get to him before we do, he could die or disappear again.”

“You’re right, let’s go,” he muttered but there was still more that he wanted to say and I wondered if he ever would say it.

 

*************

 

We had a plan, we knew where he was staying. The entire drive I had been mentally preparing myself to see Bucky, building my wall to protect myself and to be ready to take action if I needed to. Steve thought that it would be best if only he and I went into Bucky’s apartment alone.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Steve asked for the final time before we entered his apartment. 

“I’m ready and I’m ready for you to stop asking,” I reminded.  Steve nodded, squeezed my hand and together we went into his empty apartment.

It’s the perfect place to lay low. Nothing about the apartment screamed attention, in fact it did the opposite. The walls were yellow and moldy, a single mattress laid on the floor with a sleeping bag on top. I sighed and walked over towards the kitchen and saw notebooks, piles of notebooks.    
“Steve, look at this,” I called, my fingers scanning some of the pages. Steve took the notebook from me and started going through its pages. I felt another set of confused emotions in the area, it had to be Bucky.

“Heads up you guys German Special Forces are approaching from the South,” Sam warned. I turned towards the emotions and saw Bucky inside the apartment.

“Steve,” I whispered, getting him to turn. Bucky stood there in a navy baseball cap, and a couple layers of clothes. His face still not shaved and his still growing out, probably to keep himself in hiding.

“Do you know me?” Steve asked calmly. Bucky’s expression didn’t change, but he was on edge, didn’t know what was happening.

“You’re Steve, I read about you in a museum,” he answered and paused to look at me. “You’re Molly,” he added.

“They’ve set a perimeter,” Sam updated. I took a small step forward and had my hands out as a caution.

“We know that you’re nervous but you’re also lying to us,” my voice stayed calm.

“I wasn’t in Vienna, I don’t do that anymore,” Bucky defended.

“We know that-”

“Well the people who think you did are coming here now and they’re not planning on taking you alive,” Steve interjected.

“That’s smart,” Bucky nodded. “Good strategy,” he added. Echoes of footsteps came through the walls.

“They’re on the roof, I’m compromised.”

“Bucky you need to come with us. I have a way to prove that you’re innocent,” I urged.

“This doesn’t have to end in a fight Buck,” Steve added.  Bucky sighed, took off the glove that had been concealing his metal and glanced back up at the two of us.

“It always ends in a fight.”

“You  _ pulled _ me from the river, why?” he demanded.

“I don’t know,” Bucky lied.

“Yes you do,” I retorted, balling my fists up.

“Breach, breach!” Sam screamed. 

Just then two explosives were thrown into the apartment, one of them was kicked out by Steve, the other was kicked over to Steve where he threw down his shield, concealing the blast. The door had been busted in and it was fight time, Bucky had already thrown punches and thrown people away from him. I lunged for him

“James, stop! You’re going to kill someone!” Bucky moved out of the way and on the floor where he punched a hole in the ground beside my face. 

“I’m not going to kill anyone,” he promised. Taking out a bag he tossed outside of the window and used Steve to stop the  bullets from hitting him.

The fight moved from the apartment to the top of a building where some guy dressed up as a cat tried to take down Bucky and I hated to admit it but he was good. Finally the fight turned into a chase with Steve and I catching up but never able to shake the cat guy. After Bucky had used a bomb to close off the street we all became surrounded. Cops on top of cops all had their guns aimed on us. My chest heaved with exhaustion as I waited but my eyes never once left Bucky. I needed to know if he was plotting to escape but even he knew that it was pointless.

“Stand down,” Rhodes warned us in his War Machine suit and hands ready to shoot. Steve put his shield behind him and my body relaxed. “Congratulations Captain, you’re a criminal.”

“Shut up Rhoes! Bucky wasn’t even in Vienna!” I screamed. 

“Molly calm down,” Steve urged. Even if I didn’t want to, people had already slammed me to the ground and put my hands in cuffs. My blood boiled I was taking in cat’s controlled anger and it had started to affect me. 

“I can’t Steve because he’s too angry,” I nodded to cat who had been addressed as ‘your highness’ by Rhodes.  

“Get off of her,” Steve warned. No one listened, Rhodes had never seen what happened when I took in too much emotion. My skin started to bubble and my vision started to blur.    
“Steve,” I groaned. The fire inside me was too strong to fight despite my best efforts. 

“Rhodes you need everyone to back up  _ now _ !” Steve ordered.

 I couldn’t hear anything after that but a scream that was anger mixed with grief and didn’t sound human left my lips and soon the shackles broke and no one was on top of me. I continued to scream and hold myself, still fighting to keep myself. Tears ran down my cheeks as I fought with an inner monster. The police had their guns up and shouting warnings that they were going to shoot if I didn’t stop but I couldn’t communicate. 

“Rhodes let me go, I’m the only one who can stop this right now,” Steve ordered. My heart beat sped up to inhuman speeds and for a moment I thought that this might be it and even worse, I was okay with that. My body was fire, hate, grief and uncontrollable and fear my only companion. 

“Please make it stop,” I cried, my hands moving up to my head. 

Finally the familiar feel of Steve’s arms wrapped around my crumpled body, holding me tightly to his chest. Desperately I searched for his emotions so I could feel them and take the monster away.

“I’m right here Molly, feel me,” Steve’s quiet voice entered my ears. Listening for his breathing pace, I attempted to match it. I opened my eyes and saw Steve, his blue worried eyes pouring into mine. There was still hate and anger but slowly everything started to fade. Fear still made itself present and it was the one thing that prevented me to calm down completely. 

My eyes flashed to Bucky who stared at me in such away that reminded me of our time back at the war. When we would sneak off to the forest at night, how he would hold me or when he told me that he loved me.  I remembered how his eyes had little worry, his arms held me in a protected way, like he wouldn’t anything happen to me.

My body grew heavy, my eyes went back to Steve who had his hand on the side of my face. Any energy I had left was gone and I knew what the backlash of everything would be.

“I’m sorry Steve,” my voice slurred.

“I know, it’s okay, can you stand?” he asked softly.  I tried to but wound up just falling back into him, so without needing to ask, Steve scooped me up and turned to Rhodes.

“We’ll go willingly but she can’t stand, those outbursts take a lot out of her,” Steve informed. 

“Are they common?” he asked, skeptical of Steve’s trust. 

“No, she’s only had one other and that’s when she woke up from the ice,” Steve answered. 

“Okay then let’s  wrap it up and go,” Rhodes announced. 


	11. Part II

Another fight broke out because Bucky had turned back into the Winter Soldier all because

some guy did something to him. T’Challa, the now King of Wakanda tried to take his revenge thankfully Winter Soldier Bucky wasn’t wanting to kill anyone just leave. Steve and I chased him to the helicopter pad on the top of the building. 

Steve tried to hold Bucky and the helicopter steady, which amazingly he did, I went to the tail end of the helicopter and attempted to pull it back to the pad but Steve had lost grip and all three of us flew down to the river. Sam and I were able to get Steve out of the water with Bucky in tow and found an abandoned warehouse that could’ve been an auto shop. Bucky was still out and we didn’t know if he would wake up as himself or if he would go back to being the Winter Soldier. 

Sam kept an eye on Bucky while Steve and I made sure that we were secure and safe throughout the place.

“Steve, how will we know that it’s really him?” I asked, quietly. Steve sighed, looking out of a crack to make sure we wouldn’t been seen.

“You’ll have to do what you used to do back in the war. Are you up for it?” he asked.  I took in a deep breath and nodded.

“Yeah, I think I’ll be fine, I feel better now that he’s away from all those government people,” I answered. 

“Hey Cap,” Sam called, it could only mean that Bucky was awake. Steve and I rushed to the room where we kept Bucky. I stood off to the side and started to focus on Bucky so I could get a feel of who was speaking.

“Steve?” Bucky’s groggy voice called out. Steve stood there in front of him with his arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed. 

“Which Bucky am I talking to?” he asked, his voice cold. Bucky sighed and started to talk to Steve about his mother and his newspaper trick. It was him, the Bucky I knew, the one that I had loved.

“Well you can’t read that in a museum,” Steve sighed, his body relaxing just a little bit.

“And just like we’re supposed to be cool?” Sam questioned. 

“Of course not,” Steve paused and glanced over to me, I didn’t want to lose focus on Bucky but mostly I didn’t want him to see my face, so I nodded while keeping my eyes on Bucky. “Is it really him?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, it’s him,” I responded, coolly. 

“Molly,” Bucky breathed. “You haven’t changed a bit,” he smiled.

“That’s where you’re wrong, I’ve changed a lot,” I retorted.  Bucky pulled his eyes away from me and back to Steve.

“What did I do?” he asked, his voice sad but nonchalant. 

“Enough,” Steve breathed.

“I knew this would happen,” Bucky sighed dejectedly. “Everything Hydra put inside me is still there. All he had to do were say the damn words.”

“Who was he?” Steve questioned.

“I don’t know,” he whispered. He was telling the truth but it was like Steve forgot that it was part of my job to tell if people were lying.

“People are dead; the bombing, the set up. The doctor did all of that just to get 10 minutes with you. I need you to do better than just I don’t know.”

“Steve,” my voice peaked, taking his attention back to me. “He doesn’t know him,” I responded softly.

“He wanted to know about Siberia, where I was kept. He wanted to know exactly where,” Bucky continued.

“Why did he need to know that?” Steve interrogated.

“Because I’m not the only Soldier,” he sighed.

“Who are they?” Steve questioned.

“The most elite death squad, more kills than anyone in Hydra history and that was before the serum.”

“Did they all turn out like you?” Sam questioned.

“Worse.”

“And the doctor, did he control them?” Steve resumed.

“Enough,” Bucky sighed.

Pain. Bucky’s pain coursed through me, how his memories made him feel were starting to affect me. Internally I fought it out, tried to brush it aside and for a moment it worked so I could focus on the truth aspect of his side of the conversation but the pain continued. I was entirely out of practice, my own personal emotions for Bucky started to mingle with his and it had started to be too much. 

Quietly, I walked out of the room away from his emotions. He had been telling the truth and everything that he had been through had hurt him, so in turn it was hurting me. My chest tightened, my breathing became shorter. I knew all I needed to do was turn it off and calm down but it wasn’t working as fast as I wanted it to.

“Molly, you okay?” Steve asked.  I nodded but then shook my head, his arms wrapped me in from behind and a loud shaky breath exited my mouth and sharp inhale filled with the smell of stained chemicals came back in.

“Steve, I've never been an emotional person when we were all growing up and even after I got this ability I still wasn’t fully emotional. Whenever I would focus on a person I never got affected this way and now I’m constantly crying, I feel weak and I  _ hate _ it,” it had all come out in a single breath. Steve turned me around and looked down on me with his huge blue puppy dog eyes that I couldn’t stand because it meant that he was about to do something selfless or compassionate, both nauseated me..

“Molly you aren’t weak, this is just a... complicated situation,”Steve answered. “You never had to interrogate someone that you love and I think by asking you do this you felt a lot more than his honesty,” Steve sighed the last bit. I shook my head.

“No Steve, I said that I was willing to -”

“We both said we were willing to try and we did but then I lost Peggy and I realized that as much as I love you Molly, I’ll never be able to love you like I loved Peggy and you’ll never be able to love me like you love Bucky. So instead of sitting here, hating your emotions, let’s go back, get a team together and stop this guy from waking up the other soldiers,” Steve concluded.

“I’m sorry Steve,” I whispered, gathering him up in a hug.

We needed a vehicle and a team, naturally I volunteered to do anything but stay in the shop with Bucky but unfortunately I didn’t have the connections that Steve had or an additional team member in mind - aside from Clint. Before everyone left us together Steve lifted the weight off of Bucky’s arm and they snuck off. 

The first hour it was quiet thankfully, I needed that time to put my vibes and emotions back in check. However, it wasn’t as easy as it used to be with Bucky gawking at me like I was some kind of freak.

“You didn’t change much,” Bucky finally spoke, standing away from me.

“It’s been a long time, I’d like to think that I’ve changed a lot thank you,” I spat. Bucky smirked, which  annoyed me. “If anyone has changed it’s you,” I added.

“Yeah well getting brainwashed for 70 years does that to you,” he responded with snark. I didn’t know what to say but knew I wanted to give some kind of retort. Bucky released a soft snort and a grin pulled the corners of his lips. 

“You still make that face when you’re trying to think of something smart to say back. Your jaw clenches and your mouth twists into this little circle,” he laughed quietly. 

I wanted to laugh with him but I didn’t see how I could, I still had a lot of anger towards him, even though in this scenario he was the victim.

“Look, I know you’re trying to light the mood and all but I’m not Steve. You can’t remind me about the past and make me think that everything you’ve done to me is forgiven so just stop.” Bucky’s grin dropped but it didn’t leave his eyes.

“I have to think about the past, or else all I am is the Winter Soldier and that’s not who I am anymore,” he pointed. “You know that day on the bridge? When Steve took my mask off and said my name? I remembered him and I remembered you - even though you’re hair is different, I remembered your face.” I didn’t want to hear any of this, so I got up on my feet and put some distance between us. 

“I can’t do this,” I muttered, with my hands up.

“Can’t do what?” Bucky demanded, walking up to me.

“I can’t reminisce with you, I can’t talk about the past, can’t talk about you, me and Steve.”

“Why? Those were the best times in our lives,” Bucky pointed out.

“For you! Those were the best times of our lives for you! I think about those times and all I can think about is how I missed out on so many things, I missed on my brothers and sisters growing up and getting married. I woke up out of the ice and not only did I have to find out that my parents were dead but I had to relive your death all over again!” I snapped loudly. I took a shaky breath as the truth was about to come out and so was the emotions. “You broke my heart by not supporting my decision, but nothing killed me more than knowing that you had died.” 

The cold tears, coated my cheeks but didn’t stay there long. Using the back of hand I swiped them away and continued. “When Steve and I decided to put the ship in the water, I knew we were going to die and I wasn’t scared because it meant that you and I would hopefully be together again but I didn’t die and we weren’t together. I’ve spent a long time trying to move on from you so if I don’t want to sit here and talk about my facial expressions then I’m sorry.”

Bucky’s expression was stoic, he wasn’t giving anything away, if I hadn’t been so exhausted I would just read him to know how he was feeling but I was too tired. 

“Molly...” his was soft. “Did Steve tell you what I was going to do - after the war?” I shook my head. “After the war and everything was over I-I was gonna write you a letter or find you or something and ask you to forgive me,” he paused for a reaction but didn’t get one. “I messed up, I know that, I-I can’t remember exactly why we fought but I know it was stupid and ever since I’ve been learning and remembering Steve I’ve been remembering you and how I felt about you. Molly I  _ love _ you, I always have and I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

These words, were the things of my dreams, my fantasies. For years after waking up from the ice, all I wanted was for Bucky to be alive and to tell me that he still loved me even though I was different. Now that he was saying it, and it was real, I thought my heart was going to burst. I wrapped my arms around myself and held myself tightly and turned to face him.

“Bucky... I-” I didn’t need to finish, Bucky took one long step, grabbed my shoulders and pulled me towards him until our lips touched. My arms dropped and everything that I had tried so hard to get over faded away. I loved him, Steve was right, there wouldn’t be another person for me in life. 

My arms went around his head, pulling his face closer to mine. Bucky’s arms snaked around my waist, holding me tight Bucky walked us over to a corner away from any window. His lips went down to my jaw and then to my neck.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Pulling his face to meet mine, Bucky’s eyes were glossy with tears.

“For what?” I asked, out of breath.

“If I just hadn’t been afraid, then maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Bucky you can’t blame yourself for this,” I assured him, my forehead connecting to his.

“You didn’t know and if you hadn’t gone down the path you did or if I hadn’t gone down mine, then we wouldn’t be here now - together.”

“Maybe we should just disappear, you and I - like I said back in the woods all that time ago.” Bucky was holding my face close to his and so badly did I want to run this time. Steve and Sam wouldn’t be back until it was dark but there would be a bigger price on Bucky’s head than if we had fled the war.

Closing my eyes, I heaved a sigh and shook my head. My eyes opened and I stared back at Bucky’s face, the lines were creased around his forehead and fear were etched into his eyes. The only other time I had seen this was the last time we were together. 

“I so badly want to run Bucky but what about Steve or Sam? We can’t just leave them especially after Steve and I spent so long to find you. We have to prove that you didn’t do this and then we can go wherever you want okay?” I whispered with a sad smile. Bucky nodded, pulling me against his body, I found my head perfectly placed between neck and shoulder.

“I just don’t know how we’re going to convince the world that I didn’t-”

“Shh, I don’t want to talk about that right now. When Steve and everyone gets back we’ll talk about it but right now, I just want you to hold me.” Bucky complied and wrapped his arms tighter around me and for a minute nothing bad was happening, no one was trying to kill us. If I closed my eyes tight enough we were back in our little part of the woods just being the two of us, just being together. 

“I don’t remember everything about you I- I’m still remembering but I know that I love you and I know that I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” Bucky muttered. 

“You can’t promise that but I appreciate the thought,” I looked up at him and hunger in my stomach took place. “Bucky, I want to kiss you,” I whispered. Bucky flashed a flirtatious grin and bent his head down to mine. I backed myself as deep into our corner as possible and pulling him with me. We moved as one, my hands were tangled in his hair, his hands on pulling on my waist to be closer to him; I pressed lips against his harder, like I was trying to make up for lost time.  My hands moved from his hair down to the hem of his shirt, gently I tugged it upwards but instead of helping me Bucky moved his mouth away from mine.

“No, not here. I don’t our first time to be in this place, please,” he whispered breathlessly. 

“Fine, I’m sorry - maybe we should stop,” I responded.

“Tell me about your family, about how we met and how we got here. I only have flashes but no idea what’s going on.”

So I did. I told him about our childhood with Steve and how the only reason I joined the army was because I was jealous and heartbroken. I told him about the injury that brought him to me and how we reconnected and fell in love. I told him about our secret getaways at night in the woods. We laughed, reminisced, kissed and sometimes sat in a comfortable silence, just holding each other until Steve came back with a car that would take us to Germany.

Together we sat in the back, our hands fused together unwilling to be apart, after Steve parked for the night at an abandoned airport Bucky and I found a semi-comfortable position and fell asleep, slowly preparing the danger ahead but not forgetting at being happy at being together once more.


End file.
